30 July 2013

Miss you Mum...

I was crying. and found Mum in tears,

so much smiling, she wiped my tears...

She kissed on my forehead, and called me oh dear,

so much to tell me, she came a bit near...

She stared me for minutes, and looked in mirror,

so much to figure out, she asked me to compare...

God gave me this,and I handed her a letter,

so much to read, she opened it in fear...

I said not to worry, God found you so stronger,

to make me feel loved, he sent me down here...

You cared for me so much, and always fed my hunger,

so much to do, I left home for years...

You heard my pain, and came to live together,

so much you did, so that I recover...

It was fun when, we played for hours,

so much you cheated, and declare yourself a winner...

I posed very stronger, as you seated in the car,

so much I cried, when you seemed so far...

I feel your absence, now who will check my fever

so much I miss you, Mum why don't you appear...

19 July 2013

Flying on the ground...

It took three months but finally days have come when I a'm feeling much much better and can stand still. For the first time walking feels as if I'm flying. Hopefully in a few days a time will come to give a happy farewell to my walker. From past two days I'm practicing without it, but it might take a while to get that confidence back.

Initially I was reluctant to take physiotherapy as I thought I would manage to do it myself. But when my sisters found me not exercising as told, they got a physiotherapist one day and forced me to take his sessions.

What I had assumed is that physiotherapist would help me to do mostly the same exercises which I have been told to do, but that assumption went wrong when I screamed for the first time. With this my another assumption went wrong immediately that I am(now was) very strong, but how long one would remain strong when her broken leg gets turned in the most painful directions. For the first two-three days these sessions had become nightmare for me, but now its tolerable. Everyday during that session I scream and make whining noises which even my neighbors could hear.

I quit in a moment and get up in the next. But as they say no gain without pain, my health is getting better both physically and mentally. When I faced the accident I was on the way to get to the training classes for Bakery, Catering and Hotel management. Even after the accident I couldn't realize that I might not make to the class again, but later I had to give up the course fees, also the deposit for the newly rented home and all the other preparations and plans. But that's life and time can make even abnormal things to look normal and this was nothing when I can get up again. Sometimes starting from the scratch is the real fun, you might learn and make it better or it may redirect you do something else. So this time I'm thinking to try my hands on writing fiction. Let's see what characters I evolve.

My family makes fun of me that going to learn a simple muffin costs so much and I did't learn it though :). Also they are looking forward to my services once I am perfectly okay. I wonder if I should disclose the news when I am back to normal or keep my walker as an excuse ;). But it's hard to hide the excitement. Yesterday when I climbed the stairs for the first time, I became so happy that I called my sister and asked her if we can go to the movies. Later on I realized that I have been asked to climb 6-7 steps only and even if I use elevator to the movie hall, there would be many steps to get to that comfortable seat else I won't be able to sit for 2-3 hours in the normal chair.

But I'm in the process to make it some how as each day I find at least one friend recommending that movie on the Facebook. Funny thing is, the movie's name is "Bhaag Milkha Bhaag". So when I am not able to walk properly, I'll be watching Milkha running. Don't worry I'll soon catch him!

Also from today Chaturmas has began and I have thought in the morning that I would do the fasting for these 4 months and loose some weight which I have gained during this rest, but my tummy just pinged me and I have to take her call so I guess lets switch to the shravanmas and there is a time, so let me go to the kitchen.

[I' have really got bored of titling these posts, can't anybody develop something which can autogenerate the meaningful post titles specially when the post contents are not meaningful ;)]

26 June 2013

Questioning went wrong....

Again I'm here to get my frustration out!!!  This morning I had a quarrel with Bansi's (my dog) trainer. From past few days my sisters have been complaining me that I don't care and watch how my dog's getting trained. So today I appeared and finally resolved there complaint the way they have not imagined. Its been almost three months we have hired this trainer for Bansi. Everyday he would take Bansi out for the training and nobody from my family watch him as we believed to give him total freedom to train Bansi the way he finds suitable for him. Initially he had agreed to train him for five days a week for 15 minutes a day. But gradually he decreased the span to 7-10 minutes a day. I were still okay keeping in mind that dog gets irritated if trained for longer period.

Earlier I used to train Bansi, but then I had an accident and from past two month I can't take him out or train him the way I used to. I'm still not allowed to walk and god knows when would I walk again. The doctor said that the cracks might take another 3-4 months to heal, and until I'm able to bend my leg 90 degree he won't allow me to walk. So I'm already full of frustration sitting at same place.

He took a month to teach him stay command. I didn't want to doubt him but somehow it appeared that he is purposely extending the duration and does not teach other commands so that we keep his training on. I don't have a budget to keep his training on and on for unknown period.

I came to know later on that he does not like if we give our inputs or question him based on out research on dogs. For example when he came with a packet of  Pedigree and I politely refused to buy it as I had read  bad reviews about this brand, he didn't say word that day but next day on some discussion he told that we don't believe him.

Now only 7-8 days have been left to end his training. So we asked him to give training in house, and we could also learn from him how to teach and train Bansi ourselves. And that is what made him bit angry, he didn't show it though.

In the end of the training session. I asked him which command he uses to stop a barking dog. He said to use "No". Out of curiosity I just asked him that I have read people saying not to use "No" command and instead use "Stop, Enough or Quiet". Now this triggered another shot, and he started arguing that we don't listen to him and ideally its not good to train dog in house and he would teach the way we want and it does not matter if we spread bad reviews about him.

His last line was enough for me, and I too lost my cool. Also I have been looking to get my frustration out and he gave me the opportunity. Why would I go out to spread news about him? We had believed him and so had given the total freedom in his training sessions. But what is wrong if I want to see and learn how my dog's getting trained, specially when  I'm not able to walk out and want to train him in house for the remaining 7-8 days. What sense he makes saying that he even didn't say NO to train Bansi in house. So I raised my voice to tell him "You can't say No,. It's education that I want to give to my dog and train him to understand him better. What sin I made if I read something opposite and wants to learn from you?"

Finally as good citizens my family interrupted and my sister ended our session with her big smile and gave him a polite farewell. Let's see what happens in coming days and how Bansi's trainer helps me to get the way out for frustrations. I wish Bansi could understand the "Attack" command... ;)

23 May 2013

a gazal...

After so long I could create and write something in my mother tongue Gujarati, thanks to Manhar Udhas's Gazals... Titling is not my cup of tea, so have used its genre.

બહાર ફરી ને થાક્યો તો અંદર સંતાઈ ગયો,

દિવસ ની વાટ માં હાથ પડછાયો આવી ગયો...

બગીચા ની ફરતે તો હતી કાંટા ની વાડ,

પણ, ફુલો ની સુગંધ માં ભમરો ફસાઈ ગયો...

નહોતી મંઝીલ, કે એનાં રસ્તાઓ ની કોઈ ફિકર,

તોય મુસાફરી ના થાક નીચે એ દબાઈ ગયો...

હસવાની લીધી જીદ એણે રડવાની બીક થી,

તો હસી-હસી ને એ બદનામ થઈ ગયો...

નથી પીધા જામ, ને નથી એનાં રસ ની કોઇ ખબર,

તોય, પીધા વીના પણ આજે એ નશામાં ચૂર થઇ ગયો...

ખોટો પડ્યો એ દિવસે જીંદગી ના ગણિતમાં,

તો તારાઓ ની ગણતરીમાં રાતે માહીર બની ગયો...

કોણે હતી ખબર કે ખુદા આમ જ મળી જશે,

એની શોધમાં ભટકીને એ ક્યાંક ખોવાઈ ગયો...

11 May 2013

a day out...

Finally I got the opportunity to go out at least for a few hours and see the world outside from car's window. Actually I had an appointment today with my Dr and he also wanted to see how I am recovering after operation. So we hired a cab and went to the hospitals.

Seeing people riding bikes made me a bit jealous. So what If I cant ride two wheeler now, I have now a new vehicle cum friend after my accident, a Walker. I still drive it with right leg only and I am not yet skilled and stumble sometimes but I would soon get a grip. Now I don't like when anybody in my family fold it and place  it somewhere else and not besides my bed.

Now my stitches have been opened and so far recovery is good said my Dr after he saw the latest X-ray report. I have become so much comfortable with brace that when today Dr advised me to do exercise without brace, I thought for a few minutes that how would I manage without it. The set of exercises which my Dr wants me to do seems very horrible and I still wonder if I could do that. These three weeks I have been told not to move leg and suddenly he has asked me to bend it 25 degree and move leg upward keeping it straight. I asked him how many times do I have to do these exercises, I expected him to say 2 or 3 times. But instead he told me do it all the day whenever I get time, I felt like change the Dr immediately. I wish I could :). Exercise seems now a new word and now it feels a bit alien.

Though lying and sitting in bed many times frustrate me a lot, but sometimes I feel I am now set this way and don't mind. I wonder and doubt if I become habituated and then don't like to walk at all. Now breakfast is full of tablets including calcium, all types of vitamins, pain killer, and antibiotic and day ends with milk with a bitter spoon of turmeric

But still its enjoyable as after so long I talked to my friends and relatives who took time out to call me to check my health, and so far my social sector is improving. Also I'm very happy that my Mom is here with me on this Mother's day.

30 April 2013

If u want to make god laugh...

Finally the cycle of accidents in my home is over when I had an accident some days back. I just took the left turn and suddenly started feeling very happy. I told myself  "everything is going well". The next few minutes I met a car and I fell down from my scooter after it dragged me a few meters along. I was just a minute away from my destination.

Some passed by, some watched, some gathered around and some came forward to offer various kinds of help. I remember some of them, the uncle who offered water, a girl who called 108 ambulance, another girl and a guy who was constantly asking me if I am okay and need anything or want to call home.

I was a bit blank at that moment about what to do. I started figuring out if I should call home or go to hospital directly. First truth I realized that I was not at all able to move my left leg, so I made a wise call to my home (which was around 20 km away from the spot) and asked them to reach a hospital which was still not decided.

Within a few minutes Police also appeared as they were passing by and saw me. This was the time when my entertainment got started. Two policemen came, one asked if I am okay and then if I saw the number of the car. The other - the funny one asked me if I want to go to hospital. Unfortunately I didn't have outer injuries which could have easily conveyed the pain I was in. I kept saying Yes I need to go. Then they asked "Which hospital I would like to go? I said, take me to any nearby hospital as I was not aware of the hospitals in that area.

The ambulance came, Police and ambulance staff talked and decided the hospital and I then left the spot after giving the last answer to his question that I don't want to file a case against the car. My family also reached the hospital and by the time Dr has got my x-ray report ready with fractures details and the cost to get it fixed. It costs us 60,000 Rs to get two screws fixed in my left tibia with 2 nights and 3 days stay in the hospital.

Visitors flow got started where some commented about my speed, some challenged my driving skills and some wished me happy vacations, some taunted for not having insurance and being too positive and the comment which I got the most was "why my family faces accidents so frequently and why don't we do something about this or ask some saints to resolve this? My mother says to me "you shifted home though we said no and see what happened", siblings say "I was flying too high and so got fixed on the ground.

But good thing is, they all serve me humor each day and help me pass these boring days. Otherwise I can imagine how tedious it is when one is not able to move out of bed. See 15 days has been passed and all I can manage is to turn a side on left silently, though its not allowed yet. Still long time to wait and god knows when I would become able to walk, but I guess by that time monsoon would arrive. Sometimes it feels so frustrating being not able to move or sit for long. But I have a bad memory too which helps me overcome this and keep calm.

More than me my sisters are frustrated because, now they have to train and take care of my dog too out of their busy schedule, and I Enjoy them doing this as before they hardly came forward to help me on this. They used to tell me, its your dog, you train him and we would just play. So now they take him out and train him and discuss him all the day and so far watching them working so hard is funny. Also Mom is now besides me, so life is a party and I too laugh along with god

Also my Mom has now called Vastu people and she keeps calling them to come home and find what's wrong with our home and they might come soon. Though none of  us believe this, we all would be witnessing this gathering and hear which corner of our home is affecting our life or what is wrong with the position of the table, bed and god knows what else it would be. But in all these, fun is assured :)

23 February 2013

My biting gift...

Last month, after so many crocodile tears I succeeded in convincing my family to gift me Labrador puppy as a birthday gift. Though a little late I got the gift.

We had owned 2 dogs in the past who are no more. My last dog died in April 2008, so I was excited to get a new after so long and all I had in mind was, I am asking for the cute puppy who would play.

But when you don't make your requirements clear, God does not take anything seriously. So here is a twist that however I got the puppy who looks handsome and is a cutie pie(as he appears in the first image) but is also very very..(I can't type the same thing more, so Imagine ) hyper active and aggressive who enjoys biting and barking and jumping on us all the time(see his angry mood in the second image).

Initially I wanted to name him "Pogo" but nobody agreed and finally they settled with "Bansi". Bansi - means a flute. But the way he behaves the name which suits him is "Bullet" as he shoots all the time. He just love biting. I can't teach him biting inhibitions as he bites too hard and does not listen to anything during that time. Sometimes when we stare him he gives us his typical look as if he is telling "haven't you seen any handsome guy?"

But why he bites so much? Food, Food and Food.  He just love the food just like me. But my little giant puppy wants food all the time. He can't tolerate any delay when food is being served. He would shake his body top to bottom and it would become hard to control him. He has zero patience. So I chain him most of the day and would free him off leash only a few time a day. I need to chain him all the night in a different room, and if I don't he wakes me up early in the morning for his food and he won't give me even 5 minutes to prepare his food. He chew everything but not food. It takes him just 30-50 seconds to finish his bowl. Once I tried to capture this but by the time I started recording the food was already finished :). He even dreams a lot during his sleeps and I find him shaking his body, sometimes his mouth seems chewing something in the dreams. I bet he would be running after some food.

Its 3:15 in the morning and he is sleeping in my right corner, but wakes up on my each move and if I get off my chair, he would get up and just stare me as if he wants food right now. I have to prepare his food silently to avoid his unnecessary barking. I am already bitten by him many times and now I have good number of scars on my both hands. He can't be trained outside as trainer wants him to be at least 4 months old and he is just 2.5 months old

Is my puppy good for anything???

Last weekends I bought him some biscuits to treat him, and started giving him training on my own, and yes there is hope and he is very very very dear to me. It brought amazing results however he still bites. Now he understands "Sit" very well. His response time to food has been increased and now I don't serve him until he sits in a manner. When treat is on hand, he follows all the commands like Go to your place, sit, come etc. Many times I don't have to say Sit even as he already takes the positions to get the treat and he is trying to be a good boy.

Recently I introduced him to "Speak" command, now he barks a little when I give him the command, but funny part is he started barking continuously after that to get the treat as he thought it is barking which gets him treat. But before teaching him Quite command it was necessary to teach him Speak. So I am getting there. Teaching him not to bite is so far very hard as he does not react to any training methods.

Next in the list are Heel, down, leave it and drop it. He also taught me one good thing meanwhile his training sessions, that animal beings can learn anything and behave very well when food is being severed and they follows it consistently once they learn it.

And of course my puppy is good for everything and is very cute(do I have any choice? :) )

09 January 2013

Overall it was a good day!

I sometimes buy myself gifts but today registering at Shatayu - A Gift of Life might be the best gift I ever gave to myself on my birthday. So morning was exciting. Also thanks to my family, this time there was no b'day plans, which I find very good because going here and there on birthday is something I don't enjoy.

My mom sent me my favorite home made Ice-halwa through my sister. My sisters asked me to choose and tell them what gift I want. But when I told them that I want a Labrador or a Golden retriever dog, they disappeared and bought me a pastry cake and a bouquet. Then why did they ask :(, they fear of taking care of him.

But sooner or later the dog is in my list and so has to come and I'll train him to bark at my sisters ;) Just watch!